I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
