Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
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