im drinking this country out of the recession.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize