Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
