my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
pray to the hookup gods
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
