Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
