you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
