Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
