Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
