i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
someone owes me an orgasm
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm always down for nudity.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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