sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
