you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
