Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
