I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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