Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
