that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
