Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
