Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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