So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
