Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
