Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
