it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
