i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
