As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
