somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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