The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
