Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
