aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i've created a new STD.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
