he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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