We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
