i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
