ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
