didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
