that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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