Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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