Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
They have beer where we have blood.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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