he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Don't tell me you're on acid again
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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