You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
