how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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