I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
