we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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