the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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