please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
