I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Alive.
So much puke
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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