well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
