So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
