I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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