Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
