FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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