Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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