Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
