I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
